“HOMELESS dogs at the SPCA are not damaged goods, but normal, happy animals waiting to be someone’s best friend for life,” say the Cape of Good Hope (CoGH) SPCA and Hill’s Pet Nutrition, who’ve declared September as Dog Adoption Month with their new “No Fun Without Your Best Friend” campaign.

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LOOK, I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to be adopted.

Sure, I like helping the other dogs with advice or confuse them with a few well-thought out puns, but I have an instinctive desire to be owned (while keeping my identity, of course).
I have a preposterously cute name – Suzie Q – and am two years old.

The “Q” in my name could stand for “quotient”, but let me not bore you with abbreviated intricacies.
When my four-legged friends in the SPCA want to pontificate about existence, they come to me. People think it’s noisy when they walk through the kennels, what with hundreds of dogs barking at the same time.
Ninety of those barking dogs are actually talking to me at the same time.

My paws are full and my anecdotes are nearly all used up, so I wouldn’t mind it if a human with half a brain adopted me.
I would ideally prefer my new owner to be smarter than me, but I’m in no position to bargain.
Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. Since I’m a mongrel (ugly word, I know, but it’s better than “pavement special”), I can associate with all my friends.

They will be devastated if I leave them, but my work here is done.
Don’t worry about them, though, because I’ve already told my protégé the answer to the ultimate question, “If a tree falls in a forest and there’s no-one close to hear it, does it make a sound?”

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OH, how I yearn for a human companion…

God made me with too much love, so I need someone to share it with. I once had owners, but they wouldn’t let me into the house – no matter how much I whimpered and cried. I must’ve got on their nerves, because they left me at this place and never came back. Now no-one calls me theirs, which makes me sad.

My name is Sheena, a cross between a German shepherd and something else – most probably a dog.
So yes, I might be a little big, but I can’t understand why I’m not allowed inside a house. Is there anything better than curling up tightly next to my owner on a comfortable warm bed?

Perhaps it is wrong to cuddle, but why does it feel so good? Would you like to sit outside, for what seems like forever, in the cold dark night? No, I didn’t think so.
I hope you’re not upset with me… I just want you to be happy.

Please adopt me. I’m neutered, de-wormed, microchipped and very, very affectionate.
I’ve been in the SPCA for two months and it’s not bad at all, but I would love a home of my own (preferably where other dogs don’t bark all night).

It’s very difficult to sleep while your next door neighbour thinks barking brings back the sun.
Also, I think he’s got a crush on me and his breath smells.

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HI, my name is Little Kim. I like that name, because I’m little…

I’m just a tiny dog in a big, big world, and it goes without saying that I need someone to look after me. There are precious few laps I can sit on in the SPCA.
Once a day someone will offer me their lap for a while, but, oh, how I would love a lap I could sit on permanently…
That would be like dog heaven.

I sometimes cry when I think of my previous owner’s soft lap, but she couldn’t afford me any more. I’ve been here for almost three months now and every day my life is lap-less I die a little on the inside.
As a cross terrier, people think I like to run a lot, but I don’t see the point in that. The monotonous concept of running doesn’t come close to the infinite possibilities of lying on a lap.

I get very lonely here, and when it rains, the deafening roof scares me.
As with all the dogs at the SPCA, I’m vaccinated and sterilised, and even boast a microchip in case I run away. Run away? Me? Never ever, ever!
Unless it’s from a nasty dog.

I believe there is an elderly couple in Cape Town who would love to cuddle me every day. I promise I will be the bestest of friends ever!
If there’s a dog-less lap out there then I’m yours.
Please let me be yours…

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GREETINGS interesting bipeds. My name is Boomer and I’m a four-year-old cross maltese.

Haha! No, I’m not really cross. It just means I’m a cross between 2 or 18 malteses.

I love, love, LOVE to bounce! Here, there and… Er… Yes… Just hold on for one second. Sorry about that! I thought I saw a green worm. Have you ever seen one of those? It turned out to be a blade of grass. Where was I? Oh yes! Bouncing! Bounding! Exploring!

I’m fascinated by absolutely everything and my curiosity knows no bounds. Sometimes I’m misunderstood, because people think I’m not interested in anything but everything. They will call me over and I will just keep on sniffing. Sorry about that. But have you smelled that piece of wood? Wow! I mean, Wow! It’s all woody.

I love wood. And worms. My previous owners couldn’t afford me any more and gave me to the SPCA about two months ago. Since then I’ve smelled more than I can remember! My friends tell me I should focus on one thing at a time, but you cannot teach a tree to bark. Or can you?
Oh! I knew it was a worm! Right there! And it is green! Who would’ve thunk it?

A green worm! Now I’ve seen and smelled everything! Where was I? Oh yes. If you have a garden with lots of stuff then I beg you to take me in. I’ve been here for two months and have now smelled everything…

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HI everyone! I was told to introduce myself to you lovely people! Well! My name is Goldie and I love balls!

And exclamation marks!

Excuse me? Oh, I was just told that I should tone it down a bit… Sorry…
OK, I’m about one year old, a cross between a corgi and a labrador, and I’m looking for a new ball-thrower. Here at the SPCA my hosts throw balls, which I recover as quickly as I can, but they always stop just when I’m getting into it!
Perhaps I should chase the ball a little slower…

There’s only one thing I love more than a tennis ball, and that’s humans. One is useless without the other! Humans also feed me, of course, which I love – obviously!
One and a half months ago (that’s almost 10 in dog months!) I booked myself into the SPCA after exploring the streets of Cape Town. I was a little disappointed with the great outdoors, because there are hardly any balls out there.

Balls! Did someone just say balls? Oh, no, it was just me. Sorry if I seem a little obsessed… I hope you’re not mad?
I desperately need someone to rub my tummy and take me to the beach, where I can run like the wind and dig to my heart’s content! I once found a ball buried in the sand.

Have I mentioned that I like balls? Please, please adopt me – especially if you need a loyal friend to retrieve round objects!

***DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE AND PHOTO WERE PUBLISHED IN PEOPLE’S POST, A CAPE TOWN BASED MEDIA24 COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER. NEITHER MAY BE DUPLICATED WITHOUT ACCREDITING THE SOURCE – PEOPLE’S POST, MEDIA24.***

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